Our Story: Always The Stranger: Being Out And Bi


I’ve been out as bisexual to myself and my world for about fifteen years, acknowledging that I am able to love both men and women. One of the things I have learned through these years is that being out as bi tends to make me a stranger across the spectrum of sexual orientation.

I become a stranger to my straight friends when it strikes them that I am not exactly like them.

Not what they had thought. They assume that my marriage to my husband means that I am straight. Suddenly finding out that I am not is often a confusing shock. Many have never heard the word “bisexual.” They may use the term “LGBT,” but have never stopped to think what the “B” and the “T” mean.

One pastor friend invited me to have coffee after he heard from someone else that I am bi. He wanted to warn me that adultery is one of the Ten Commandments. He cared enough about me to speak to me. He assumed that I had to be promiscuous because I identify as bisexual. When I figured out what he was talking about, I assured him that I am faithful to my husband. I realized that when he had learned I’m bi, I had become a stranger to him, and it took this conversation to keep our friendship going. Suddenly, I had to explain myself and, sadly, reassure a friend that his new awareness of my being bi did not mean I was any different than I had always been – faithful, committed, myself.

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Posted By Chris Caldwell: Affirmation Speaker at In The G.A.P.
phone: 218-234-2310
web: www.caldwellchris.com
twitter: @gayaffirmation

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Chris Caldwell

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